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Sunday, March 5th, 2006
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5:45 pm - how the hell are ya?
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it's been a damn long time since i updated. sorry about that. i have no internet access anymore.
anyway, news, news, news.
am. psych is playing a show at club ? on march 11. be there. i told you about it. no excuses.
things are good otherwise, my job is still kool as hell. i'm now the "chef de cuisine" at the palm's bistro. i like having a fancy sounding title. hehe.
things are good at home, still living with niki and happy as hell about it.
i've been quite the hermit lately, probably on account of the weather. sorry. i'll be out soon.
i guess that's all.
oh, one more thing.
what's the deal with______?
(fill in the blank)
current mood:  chipper
current music: simian-helpless
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 26th, 2005
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4:28 pm
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this one's for you...
have been a weed in a garden of roses. have been lacking enthusiasm. have been a calous shell. have been wondering where my life went. have been finding it, piece by piece. have been an umbrella with a hole in it. have been waiting for the bus. have been a friend. have been needing one. have been understanding the incatracies of love. have been loving them. have been forgotten. have been forgetting. have been at a loss of words. have been happier now than ever. have been a line in a poem. have been lost. have been a falling star. still am. have been a broken mirror. have been a ray of sunlight, warming the hardwood floor. have been enibriated. have been looking for a reason to step up to the plate. have been thinking of you all day.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
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12:13 am
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i normally think that sex is a great passtime.
getting fucked, however, is not so fun.
finding a new place to live is never fun.
especially under extreme time restraints.
on the other hand, i'm getting out of a lose lose situation.
fuck me.
while the hole is nice and wide.
i'm so glad that i'm not alone.
current mood:  raped and vulnerable
current music: deftones- 7 words
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 25th, 2005
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3:18 pm - bow down
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so, this morning, i decided to play megaman 3 using nothing but the mega buster. (and the rush companions, of course.)
i was very disappointed to find that it's impossible. i got all the way to the second wily, and the mega buster has no effect on it whatsoever.
although, i did beat the game without continuing once.
i still feel ripped off.
i'm kool.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
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1:48 pm
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| Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
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1:57 pm - if i was on fire,
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| Friday, June 17th, 2005
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1:52 pm - "haven't seen him smile in a little while"
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"now i'm laughing from the inside out."
i used to have this fear. i used to think that if i get close enough to anyone, they would see what i really am and run like hell. this boils down to a self defeatist attitude that, until recently, acted as my secuity blanket. now that i've opened my arms wide, and let you in, i wonder why the hell i ever saw myself in that half shadowed alleyway. this field is much warmer, and the breeze is not as sharp.
you speak of issues. but you don't realise that my issues don't lie with you. they sleep on my side of the bed.
anyway...
with this newer face turned to the sun, i let the rays burn my flesh. refreshed and immersed in this feeling of stability, i smile on the outside for once.
here i am.
"someone's pouing warm gravy all over me."
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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1:55 pm - sung with a fresh voice
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Find myself singing the same songs everyday
Ones that make me feel good
When things behind the smiles ain't okay
Around and over and in-between the seas
I need to be on top of a mountain
Where I can be see everything
Cause this paranoia's getting old
Now as I open my eyes to start another day
I'm in a pile of puke
Empty bag of execuses
My love for friends and family
you know I need them
And under a sun that's seen it all before
My feet are so cold
And I can't believe that I have to bang my head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
blind melon - walk
current mood: good
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
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2:04 pm
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| Thursday, June 9th, 2005
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12:12 pm
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this burn has almost healed.
my epidermis has cracked and started flaking.
pink flesh surrounded by red.
this fresh skin untainted by the trials of a day.
with open pores, there's nothing to do but show itself to this world.
current music: as i lay dying- track 10(that's really the song title)
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
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2:06 pm
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it's mornings like this that make all the needles in my world turn to rubber.
current mood:  content
current music: bloc party- it's a burn, i don't have the tracklist
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 3rd, 2005
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11:37 am
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most things can't be taken back. hours have already been ill spent. i wouldn't take them back for the world.
without the bitter, the sweet just isn't what it should be.
why do i let the past torment me so? enough to even intertwine into my present life. to confuse me, to displace my anger. to turn me against myself.
i am a stone. faceless and cold.
(goddammit, stop whining and get up, man.)
i'm trying...
current mood:  angry
current music: at the drive in- invalid litter dept.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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9:57 am - no good
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"i'm no prize for you
no trophy too
keep passing through
i'm not worth a dime
i'll drag you down
don't waste your time"
(please do)
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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9:56 am - no gooddown
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| Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
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3:02 pm - "my parents made me strong to lick up that glass"
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this cloud is in the way
red and purple
hint of clear
opaque as black stained glass
yet twice as sharp when shattered
you find me here
in this pit i've dug
not quite six feet
but deep enough for now
self loathing is no longer my blanket
i know myself too well for that
so i lie
naked and cold
but...
beauty runs much deeper than skin
current mood:  melancholy
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 23rd, 2005
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2:02 pm
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i was driving in west allis today. i was looking at the sky, and watching this dark grey stratus cloud swallow the crisp, blue and white sky.
i was at wendy's watching this homeless couple yell at each other. they were both very frustrated and trying to walk away from each other, but there was nowhere to go. the only home they had was each other.
i think your amazing powers of observation are rubbing off on me.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: j.s.r.f.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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2:06 pm
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fuck the freeway. seriously. almost got killed by a sixteen wheeler today after he lost his WHOLE FUCKING WHEEL!!!
in other news, i say this book today, and on the cover, there was this book cover. it said"men are from mars, women won't shut up". i almost pissed myself.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
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6:45 pm
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| Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
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11:22 pm
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"if i threw my guitar out the window, would i start to regret it, or would i smile and watch it slowly fall?"
jealousy is a bitch.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
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12:47 pm
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thrown over it's shoulder. light as a feather.at first.
although each step,it's knees bend slightly.
after fatigue sets in,
hitting the ground like a cinder block,
i look up
what's wrong
where did it go
just another day, i guess.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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crazy_as_a_goat's journal
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